07-26-04 - 2:30
After I watched the Butterfly Effect a couple of months ago, I really got into parallel universi, time travel, and paradoxes that result.
I bought a score of books on the subject.
Believe it or not, all of these things work together. They are not independent of each other.
And believe it or not, there is ample scientific proof in support of each.
Paradox 1: You go back in time and kill your grandpa. In effect, you are never born to go back and kill him.
Actually what happens is every choice we make creates a new universe.
Every time you get to a T-intersection and choose to go left, you create a universe in which you went right instead.
Pretty heavy stuff.
If I could go back, I'd take my grandpa out for a drink, go get some hookers with him, and tell him to invest all of his money in Yahoo in the future. Fuck, I'd be set.
Another theory many hold to be true is that if you can imagine a universe, it is. Anything you ever imagine exists somewhere.
Universes I would like to see:
1: Every single person is Carmen Elektra.
2: We're all born with our organs on the outside of our bodies. Everytime someone ate, you could watch the food slowly transmogrify from solid to liquid.
3: Little children are sex-slaves. They would be required to carry a tube of KY at all times, you know, for those unplanned romps on the playground. At age 18, everybody becomes EdgarFrog, just to unleash their unholy sex fury upon the new young.
4: I'm the only guy to 8 billion women. Bikini-models no less.
5: EdgarFrog's the only straight guy to 8 billion gay guys. Open beer, sit back, and enjoy the ensuing ass-rapings and subsequent gut-explosion from the admittance of 30 pounds of cum. Oral admittance.
Those are just a few of the things I would like to see.
Probably though, if I could time-travel, I would just go back and kick my mother in the stomach while she was pregnant with me.
In doing so, I would alter the universe in such a way that all of you shmucks would probably commit suicide for lack of any entertainment in your lives.
And if I didn't do that, then I would just go back twenty years and fuck the shit out of xolaneyxo. Maybe her and I could rob banks together and throw firecrackers at little Edgar.
Like we could fuck him up worse than he is.
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