07-27-04 - 6:22 p.m.
You ever notice how when you meet people, they remind you of someone else you know. It's like the archetypal patterns of literature--there are only like ten, and every story falls into one of them. People are like that.
When I transferred high schools, everyone I met looked like someone I already knew. Or they acted like someone I knew.
It's happened again.
I just joined Bangme.net. You put your pic on and people vote for you. That's how I met our fellow diarist xolaneyxo. Her name on Bangme is Laney. After you see her pics, please hit me upside the head with a shovel for not sleeping with her even though she constantly begs for it.
In case anyone's wondering what the face that covers this sick, twisted, perverted fucking mind I have looks like, they can check it out there. My name's Livescollide, same as here.
But don't go voting no just to be a dick b/c you're jealous. Besides, it fucks up my score.
I can keep track of who votes no, and believe me, I will find you and mutilate your genitals with a dull butter knife.
Anyway, there's also this e-mail system. Well, I've been getting these strange messages.
Let me share:
1. Kat4701 was kicked out of a nunnery for spending a little too much time washing the orphans' anuses.
Now she writes me these little notes like, "How 'bout we hook up and I fuck your ass with a rubber crucifix while I strangle you with my rosary beads. Then maybe I'll let you gulp holy water from my UNholy well."
Sick, huh? I hate rubber. I suggested maybe she use a wooden crucifix instead.
2. Then there's Laney, who keeps asking permission to stick a lady-finger dildo in my ass. Hello. Like you need my permission.
3. Surfie_Chicken hails from Australia. Great looking girl who's also bisexual. What an awesome combo! But she told me something disturbing. You know how Mexico has donkey shows? Well, she was telling me that to put herself through Hamburger college, she does what are known as kangaroo shows. You can use your imagination.
4. Funnycutie86 lives in Canada. She's kind of dumb, but like I said, she's from Canada. She is funny, and she is cute in her own way, but she's also 86 YEARS OLD. She tells me these stories about how she used to get gang-banged back in the Depression to earn soup and bread for her family. And how after the STDs took hold, her father opened an abortion clinic. He ran it out of an alley, and the only tool he ever needed was a twisted coat-hanger. When times got desperate, they took the day's kill home for supper. It wasn't steak, but it filled the stomachs.
And here's one I have to share that Laney shared with me:
"MM, ur sexy...wanna come watch my fat juicy cock cum on cam baby?" davey_love
My point is, these people all have a sort of familiarity to them. I couldn't put my finger on it until now.
All you perverted fuckers who read this send me the same shit in my e-mail.
Edgar talks about children's anuses, iluvtunes is like in her seventies, useafork does who knows what with barnyard animals in Colorado, and inkedgal just asked me the other night if I wanted to see pics of her fat juicy cock.
You people make me fucking sick.
Grow up.
Never fucking e-mail me again!
Just come over in person, we'll see what we can make happen.
You little internet teases.
Vote yes.
Brought to you by Nevada for President and the Republican Party.
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